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Tuesday, July 8, 2014

You're Still Alive on Facebook-How Social Media Helps After Death

Traverse City hit and run, Bicycling Death Traverse City

This very week, last year, my best friend Kelly Boyce Hurlbert, was killed in a hit-and-run accident in downtown Traverse City, Michigan.  Her killer is still out there.  July 5th, 2013 is a day that I will never forget.  It is a day that changed how I look at the world and how I function within this world.  I haven't been the same.  I suppose its safe to say that a part of me died with her that day.  I mean, I had a friend that I could undoubtedly call on whenever I was in need.  If I needed to share a thought, a story or perhaps I needed some advice-Kelly was always there.  Did I want to reminisce about some ridiculous thing we had done in the past or perhaps recreate that epic moment-Kelly was always a phone call away {and damn that girl was always game for some shenanigans}.

I have never truly experienced death of such magnitude.  Sure, I have lost grandparents and great uncles but each person that I have lost in my lifetime was older and had seen the world and lived a great, full, life of their own.  My friend, only 29 years old, was robbed of her adulthood and beyond.  She definitely crammed a ton into those 29 years and I am sure if you could ask her today she would tell you "no regrets!"  She lived, loved and enlightened everyone around her every moment of every day.  She was the person that everyone wanted to be around and she was the girl that all girls wanted to be like.  She was beautiful, funny, smart, witty, sarcastic, memorable, amazing and she was well-put together.  She was my best friend.

Facebook has been such a fantastic way not only to share memories of Kelly with her friends and family but it has been a way for me to relive the fun times we had and all of the memories that she made.  Opening up my private messages with her brings back a million smiles and it creates excitement that I have been missing this last year.  A "I miss Maggie in my life" when she moved away for 6 months, a "I need to see your pretty face" when we hadn't had lunch in a long time.  Those are the texts that I have saved, along with thousands more.  Thank God for technology because it makes the hurt and pain not as deep and real.

This past year I have lived in an unbelievable fog.  I haven't blogged as much as I'd like.  I didn't love as much as I would have liked.  I am not proud of myself for all of the things I neglected and I am sure Kelly would kick me in the butt for being in such a funk.  I need to pick myself up and start living again.  I need to embrace the life that I was given...not only for me and my family, but for my best friend who was robbed of her happily-ever-after.  


Krystal said...

Love you

Jenn said...

I didn't know your best friend, but with all that's been written/said, I feel like I did. Heartfelt wishes for you and your journey to resume living.